Dance The Night Away
by Providencelover
Summary: One fateful night changes the twins lives forever. Please R/R NO FLAMES PLEASE!! I MEAN THAT!!


Amy's POV  
  
I walked into school that Monday. Signs for the Homecoming dance were every where. The whole school was about he homecoming dance. I went over to my locker, and grabbed my 1/2, and 3/4 period binders and books. I started walking dwon the hallway when Matt grabbed my arm.  
" Hey Amy." He said.  
" Hi." I said and looked around, we were in a circle of a bunch of his friends.   
" This is my date Amy to the homecoming." He said and put his arm around my shoulder. The guys just looked me over, and nodded their heads.  
" Matt, I have to go." I said and started to walk away. As I walked away, he smacked my butt. I turned around and looked at him, he blew me a kiss. Furious I walked to my homeroom.   
  
When I got home, I was still mad. I was just a trophy. Holly told me to calm down, she said I should dump him after homecoming night, I agreed. Only because Holly told me that we both new that Matt only choose girls he found beautiful, so I should just deal with it. I agreed not wanting to look like a wimp. Ashley came in a couple minutes later than me.  
" Hey sis." She said and grabbed an apple.  
" Hi." I said, and grabbed a plum.  
" How was school?" She asked.  
" Fine."  
" I saw your boyfriend. He's really hot." Ashley said and opened her bookbag.  
" He's not my boyfriend." I protested.   
" Okay, whatever." Ashley said and started working on her homework.  
" Ugh, so how's your loser boyfriend?" I asked with a smirk.  
" He's not a loser." Ashley said jumping to Brian's defense.   
" Of course not." I said and laughed.   
" Amy, one thing though." Ashley said thinking.  
" Yeah?" I asked, and sat at the bar across from her.  
" Brian is too ready for things I'm not. Like he wants marriage already...and other things." Ashley said.   
" Other things?" I asked.  
" Yeah, like what Joanie was talking about. I'm not ready, I'm not going to screw up my life for him."  
" Oh." I said. "Tell him."  
" I did." She said. "Oh well."  
" Yep." I said. We heard knocking on the door I went over to it. I opened it and there stood Chris.  
" Amy, can we talk?" He asked.  
" Sure." I said. We went outside and I shut the door behind myself. We were quiet for a few minutes, and then Chris spoke.  
" Why Amy?" He asked.  
" Why what?"   
" Why would you even think of going out with Matt?"  
" He asked me."  
" Why didn't you say no?"   
" I couldn't."  
" Bull. Amy, I hope you know that Sharon would be disappointed in you."  
" Shut up."  
" She would. And Amy I am too. Until you two are over, don't even talk to me." He yelle, he got on his bike and rode away. I ran inside the house. Homecoming was coming, everyone was supposed to be happy. Why would Chris even ruin it for me.  
Yet I assume, that's what Homecoming is...thanks a lot...  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
I was sitting on the front porch at Syd's house. The stars were out and shinning brightly. I looked for the star Brian had named for me while we were doing A Walk To Remember. Brian and I had had a serious talk and he had agreed to take things slow. I was grateful for that because I knew in my heart that I loved him and I didn't want to do something I'd regret. Then I saw a car pull up and Brian got out. I smiled and stood up   
"What are you doing here?" I asked.   
"We got so busy talking about our relationship that I never got a chance to ask you to homecoming."   
I smiled. "I would love to go with you and yes you did ask me."  
"And I promise we'll take things slow," Brian said. He looked at me. "Sorry."  
"I'm only sixteen Brian," I said. "I'm not ready for the same things you are."   
"I know I realize that now," he said. "I was a jerk before."   
I smiled. "Not a total jerk just half of one."   
Brian smiled. "Thanks." He hugged me. "I gotta go my dad's waiting. Man I can't wait until you start driving."   
"I get my license in a week," I told him.   
"Good," Brian said. He kissed my cheek and ran off to the car.   
I stood there watching him. How did I deserve such a great boyfriend? I walked back into the house and found Syd at the bar.   
"What did Brian want?" she asked looking at me.   
"To ask me to homecoming," I answered as I grabbed an apple.   
"Wow," Syd said. "We need to go shopping soon."   
"Well I was kind of hoping I could wear my dress I wore in the play."   
"OK," Syd said. "Now all we have to go shopping for your sister," Syd said heading for the living room.  
"GOOD LUCK WITH THAT," I called.   
Syd laughed and went into the living room.   
I shook my head and went upstairs. Amy was in our room on her bed reading a magazine. I plopped down on my own bed.   
"What did loser boy want?" Amy asked.   
"None of your business," I replied. "He just wanted to ask me to homecoming." ]  
"I thought you two covered that area this afternoon?" Amy asked.   
"No, we covered other areas," I said.   
"Oh," was all she said and went back to reading her magazine.   
I put on my earphones and started listening to Plus One. Plus one is a Christian band that Alex got me into and I love them. They sound kind of like N'SYNC.   
  
The next day at school I was standing at my locker waiting for Bran to come to his when I heard some people talking beside me. I looked over and saw Amy's friend Chris talking to this other guy I didn't know.   
"We are going to have so much fun on Friday," Chris was saying. "So who's getting it?"   
"My friend Tim said he would," the other guy said.   
I had no idea what the guys were talking about but I could tell it wasn't good, not at all. Then Brian came up to me.   
"Hey you OK?" he asked.   
I looked at him. "Yeah, I'm fine."   
"So have you gone shopping for your dress yet? I know how you girls like to dress up."   
"Actually I was going to wear the dress I wore in the play," I said with a smile.   
"Good choice," Brian said. "I'm still going to rent a tux."   
"Good idea," I said. I slammed my locker shut. "I'll see you later." I headed for my class. Amy's friend Chris was in my sixth period class with me. I looked at him.   
"Oh look here comes your friend," another guy said to Chris. "Her hair isn't pink anymore what happened?"   
"That's not Amy you dummy that's her sister Ashley," Chris said.   
"Oh yeah the one that almost died," the guy said.   
I was starting to get really mad. I slammed my books down on my desk and went over to them, fuming. "Talking about dying and death amuses you? You think its funny to make fun of other people well its not, it hurts," I snapped.   
"Whoa virgin Mary has an attitude," Chris said.   
"Grow up," I snapped and went back to my seat. I'd never yelled at anyone like that in my life but Chris had deserved it, he'd deserved every word of it. I don't know what my sister saw in him.   
  
After school I was sitting on the front steps waiting for Casey when Amy came up beside me.   
"Chris told me what you said in class today," she said. She sat down beside me.   
"He deserved it," I said hastily.   
"It just kind of shocked him," Amy said. "You're normally not that defensive."   
"I get it from you," I said and stood up. "Oh and Syd wants to go shopping for a homecoming dress."   
"OK," Amy said. "I'll find one... someday...somewhere on this planet."   
I laughed. "Sure you will just give it time."   
Then Casey came up to us. "Hey! Ready to go?"   
"Yeah," I said. "Hey Amy tell Syd I'm going over to the park with Casey."   
"OH man I have to walk to the clinic alone and be stuck with sick people?" Amy said pouting.   
"Its not that bad make yourself useful," I said and ran down the steps with Casey. I then remembered the conversation I'd overheard earlier. "Hey Casey I overheard something today about one of my sister's friends."   
"What?" Casey asked.   
"I overheard Chris say that he was bringing drugs to the dance."   
"We have to tell someone," Casey said.   
"No," I said. "We can't or we'll get in trouble too."   
"We at least have to tell your sister," Casey said.   
"She's mad at him anyway she probably won't even know," I said. I sighed. I hoped I was doing the right thing by keeping this a secret.   
  
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
Syd and I were in the mall looking for a homecoming dance. I was so bored. Everything I liked, Syd hated. Everything Syd liked, I hated. Finally we decided to leave and looked somewhere else. Finally we went to a Bridal store.  
" Hello, how can I help you today?" The woman asked, looking at my hair.  
" Yes we need a dress for her. She's going to her homecoming." Syd said.   
" Yes, any particular style? Color?" The lady asked. She was really snobby.  
" No particular style. I think she'd like black." Syd said.  
" Yes, of course." The woman said. I was embarrassed; this was the first time in my life I had been treated differently because of my hair. And I was really mad. She led us over to a long rack of dresses. "Here's a size five." The woman said. "Black, strapless, bright pink edges." She said through her teeth. Saying pink deeper than the other words.  
" That's the most hideous thing I have ever seen." I snapped. Syd looked at me. We spent fifteen minutes looking through dresses, until she found my perfect one.   
" Size five, halter style, black, rhinestones, a-line..." She said.  
" I'll take it." I said.  
" Don't you want to try it on?" Syd asked.  
" No, I'll take it. And i want to go." I snapped.   
" Okay." Syd said. "We'll take it."  
" Yes, it's 150.00" She said. " If you don't have the money to pay, we can find another."   
" We have the money." Syd said. She handed her 150.00 exactly. No tip. "Thank you ma'am." She said. The woman put my dress in a dress bag and handed it to us. We left. We rode in silence the whole way home. When we got home, I grabbed my dress and went running upstairs. I slammed open the bedroom door, and threw my dress in the closet. I laid down on my bed and sobbed. I was crying over everything with Chris, missing Mom, not having guts to yell at Matt, and because people actually treated me like a jailbird because of my hair. Ashley came in.  
" Are you okay?" She asked concerned. I looked up.  
" Yeah, I'm fine." I sarcastically.   
" Whets wrong?"  
" Nothing you'd understand." I snapped.   
  
The next day, I decided on wearing clothing that wouldn't flatter my figure. I wore a regular pair of jeans, but with a rather big Sum 41 t-shirt. Holly came up to me at my locker.  
" How are things going?" She asked.  
" Same as always." I sighed.   
" Okay, good." She said. "Listen, no matter what Matt does. You stay with him."  
" Not after Homecoming." I snapped.  
" Amy" Holly protested. "Listen, Matt may be the biggest jerk. But please, please stay with him. Let one of us get some action."   
" Holly." I whined. But our conversation was disrupted by Satan himself, Matt.  
" Hey Amy." He said and put him arm around me. "Let's go over to my friends."   
" Whatever." I sighed. Holly gave me a look as if to say, Don't forget. I bit my lip and walked over to the big group of people. They talked and laughed, I just stood there in Matts hug. I felt like i was just a trophy... like I was worthless.   
" Matt, I have to go." I said.  
" No stay a little." He said.  
" No." I snapped.  
" Why? What do you have better to do?" He asked, and stared at me. His big ice cold blue eyes staring in mine.  
" Nothing, I'll stay," I said quietly. For the first time in my life, I was scared of someone. He was really gripping on my shoulders. I was really scared. I saw Ashley and Brian walking by, hand in hand. I sucked my breath in and smiled. She smiled back and went back to talking to Brian. Finally the bell rang, Matt gave me a kiss. And as I walked away he slapped my butt again, I bit my lip and kept walking.   
  
That afternoon, Chris came over. He knocked on the door I answered it. We were silent.  
" Amy, whets up?" He asked.  
" Nothing." i said.  
" How's Matt?"   
" Fine."  
" You mad at me?" He asked.  
" No."   
" Good."   
" You mad at me?"  
" No. I forgive my Amy." He said and smiled.   
" Yep." I said.   
" I got to go." He said, he gave me a hug. Got in his car and left. I ran upstairs to my room sobbing. It wasn't fair, why was I so pathetic? I couldn't tell Holly no, and I couldn't stand up for myself. Worst I was scared of someone. Ashley came in.  
" Sis?" She asked concerned.   
" Go away." I cried.  
" Talk to me." She said.   
" No you wouldn't understand." I cried. I figured either this was all to much pressure for me to handle, or I would be on the rag soon. Which neither was very fun at all.   
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
On Thursday night I stood in front of the mirror in our room wearing my homecoming dress. It was a long pale blue dress that had a train in the back. I was going to curl my hair and leave it down.   
"Nice," Amy said coming into the room.   
"Thanks," I said with a smile. I slipped off the dress and put on running shorts and a youth group t-shirt. "Well I'm going to bed, goodnight."   
"Night," Amy said. She got into her bed and turned out the light. "Hey Ash?"   
"Yeah," I said. I turned to face her.   
"Do you think I should break up with Matt after homecoming. Holly wants me to stay with him but he's not the guy for me."   
"Don't let Holly tell you what to do," I replied. "Do what you want."   
"Yeah," Amy said and then a few seconds later I heard her snoring.   
  
The next day at school I was standing at my locker before first period when Brian came up to me.   
"So excited about tonight?" he asked.   
I nodded, a smile on my face. "Am I ever I didn't go to homecoming last year so this is all new for me."   
"Its fun," Brian said. "I didn't have a date last year so that part is new to me too."   
"Hey how's your driving going?" I asked. "Won't you be sixteen soon?"   
"Yeah but my dad waned me to wait," Brian said. "I think he waited a little too late."   
"Well I'll drive you around as soon as Syd let's me get my license," I told him.   
"Thanks I feel so much better," Brian said. He squeezed my hand. "I gotta get to class save you a seat a lunch?"   
"You better," I said with a smile. I watched him walk down the hall. Then Casey came up to me.   
"I'm so glad you two got back together," Casey said.   
"Me too," I said. I turned to face her. "Are you going with anyone?"   
"Josh Brent asked me," Casey said. "So I'm going with him, basically we're just keeping each other company."   
"Oh," I said as we walked down the hall. This year Casey and I were in fourth period chorus but we had Spanish One together for first. We walked into Mr. Hall's class and sat in our seats. "I'm so excited about tonight."   
"You and everyone else," Casey said as she pulled out her Spanish One book. "I just hope they don't play a lot of rap like they did last year, that sucked."   
"My sister loves rap," I replied. "So she'll probably enjoy it."   
"Yeah," Casey said.   
"Good morning class..." Mr. Hall began.   
I sat back in my seat trying to concentrate on Spanish; it was hard though I couldn't stop thinking about tonight.   
  
At lunch Brian, Casey, Alex and I sat at our normal table talking about the dance. I could see my sister talking to her friend Holly and her so called boyfriend or whatever the heck he was sitting next to her.   
"That guy Matt is a total jerk," Casey said. "What does your sister see in him?"   
"Nothing," I replied. "She hates him she's only going to the homecoming dance with him."   
"He's a sleaze ball," Casey said.   
"You said that already," Brian said.   
Casey broke out laughing. "Sorry."   
I laughed too. "Making fun of my sister's boyfriends is so much fun."   
"Ash you're being mean," Alex said.   
"She's mean to me," I said. "I'm tired of being the good girl, the perfect straight A student, I'm tired of being the Jamie Sullivan of the family."   
"Good for you Ash tell how you feel," Casey said. She gave me a high five.   
"Tonight I'm going to let loose and have some fun," I said.   
  
When I got home I raced upstairs and found Joanie and Hannah in Hannah's room.   
"Hey Ash," Joanie said cheerfully. "Where's Amy?"   
"She's in the kitchen," I said. "Can you help me get ready for the dance later?"   
"Sure," Joanie said. She stood up. "I would love to. Is Brian picking you up?"   
I nodded and smiled. "Yes he is. He's almost sixteen and he just got his learners his dad is really strict about that kind of thing."   
"Yeah," Joanie said not sure what to say.   
"Its OK," I said. "I don't mind." I went into my room and turned on Plus One to the song Calling Down An Angel. I laid down on my bed just thinking and praying. I prayed for our safety tonight and for the kids who were planning on doing something stupid. I soon closed my eyes and fell asleep.   
  
"Ashley wake up," someone said shaking me.   
I opened my eyes to see a lady in a blue dress standing over me, a cigarette in her hand. I sat up.   
"Who are you?" I asked.   
"Syd's dead mother," Lynda said.   
"But you're dead," I said.   
"Of course," Lynda said. Then I heard a voice outside the room.   
"Mother what are you doing here?" Syd asked. "Its bad enough you have to invade my dreams, please let the child sleep."   
"Syd I'm only trying to get to know her," Lynda said. "She's doing way better in the romance department then you are I might add." She looked at the dress on Amy's bed. "Never heard of her."   
"Dead and still checking labels," Syd commented. She came over to me. "Don't worry you'll wake up and this nightmare will be all over."   
I looked at Lynda. "So how did you die?" I didn't known why I asked that but Syd had never told me how her mother died.   
"She died because she was stubborn she wouldn't quit smoking," Syd replied hastily.   
"Right in the middle of my own daughter's wedding," Lynda said. "And Joanie never married again."   
I looked at Syd who looked really annoyed. "OK kiddo time to get dressed."   
I got up and Syd helped me put on my dress.   
"Now all you need is your man," Lynda commented.   
"Mother...." Syd said through gritted teeth.   
I laughed. "Its OK Syd."   
Then I heard someone call my name.   
"Ashley! Ashley!"   
  
"Ash wake up," Syd said. She was shaking me.   
I opened my eyes and looked up at her. "What time is it?"   
"Almost five we need to get you ready," Syd said.   
I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I looked at her. "You're really mean to your mom."   
Syd looked at me and laughed. "What? Where did that come from?" She got my dress out of the closet.   
"I had a dream about her," I explained as I took off my shirt.   
"I'm so sorry," Syd said.   
"She's actually kind of nice," I told her as Syd helped me put on my dress.   
"You didn't live with her," Syd answered as she zipped me up.   
"She still smokes even though she's dead," I said.   
"Yes, I know," Syd said sitting down on Amy's unmade bed. "That's why I don't get any sleep, I always wake up from these weird dreams and they always include my mother."   
I smiled then became serious again. "I wish my mother visited me in my dreams."   
Syd pulled me into a hug. "I know sweetie maybe one day she will."   
I smiled. "Yeah."   
Then Joanie came into the room. "OK time for hair primping."   
"Let's go into the bathroom," I said. I walked into the bathroom my dress flowing behind me. "Where's my sister?"   
"Downstairs," Joanie answered. "She's already dressed."  
"Oh," I answered. I sat down on the stool in front of the counter and Joanie started working on my hair.   
  
Almost an hour later I was ready. My hair was long and curly flowing down my back. My dress was a pale blue and like I said before it had a train flowing behind it. I was wearing pale white shoes and a silver bracelet. Amy was wearing a long strapless dark blue dress and her hair was curly like mine, except it had a pink tent to it.   
"Both of you look gorgeous," Syd remarked.   
"Thanks," I said with a smile. Then the doorbell rang.   
"I'll get it," Joanie said. She opened the door and there stood Brian dressed in a tux. He came into the foyer and I swear I saw his face go pale.   
"Wow you look beautiful," he said. He took out a corsage and put it on my right arm.   
I smiled. "Thanks."   
Brian held out his arm for me and I took it. "So are we ready to go?" I asked.   
"Wait we have to get pictures," Syd said. "Stand over by the fireplace."   
Brian and I stood near the fireplace and put our arms around each other.   
"Say homecoming," Syd said.   
We ignored her and kept smiling. After about a dozen pictures we were ready to go.   
"Is Matt picking you up?" I asked Amy.   
"I'm meeting him there," Amy said.   
"OK," I said. Brian and I headed for the door.   
"Have a good time," Syd said.   
"I'll have her home by mid night," Brian said as Syd closed the door.   
"OK," Syd said and closed the door in our faces.   
Brian and I walked down the steps and toward his dad's car. Soon we were at the school and we could already hear music blasting from the gym. We walked in and I couldn't believe my eyes. Balloons and different color streamers hung from the walls and a huge white banner read HOMECOMING 2002 in big red letters.   
"What's the theme of this dance?" I asked.   
Brian shrugged. "I have no idea. Come on let's go grab some punch."   
We headed over to the punch table and Brian poured me a glass of red punch.   
"Thanks," I said taking a sip, the bubbles tickled my nose making me almost drop my glass. "Jeez."   
Brian smiled. He put down his drink and took mine away from me. "Come on there's a slow song starting."   
Brian led me to the dance floor and we started dancing. I laid my head down on his shoulder. This night was perfect and it had already begun. Then I heard a voice behind us.   
"Ah how cute," someone said. It was Chris. He pulled me by the arm, anger in his eyes. "I know you know."   
"Know what?" I asked. I didn't want to appear scared around him.   
"About what my friends and I were talking about the other day at the lockers," Chris said. He held me tight by the shoulders. "If you tell I'll make your life so miserable you won't even want to come out of your house."   
I could tell Chris was drunk already by the way he was talking and I could smell it on his breath.   
"LET GO OF HER CHRIS!!" Brian yelled taking my arm.   
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS WEASLEY!!" Chris yelled.   
Suddenly I saw Brian punch Chris in the eye.   
"Brian stop," I pleaded. I tried to pull the two apart. "He didn't do anything."   
Brian stepped back a little anger still in his eyes. "If you hurt her..." Brian started to say but Chris was already walking away form us.   
"He's drunk Bri," I said.   
"I know," Brian said. "My older brother used to hang out with his type."   
"I didn't know you had a brother why didn't you tell me?" I asked curious.   
"He was killed in an accident by a drunk driver," Brian said. "When I was in seventh grade and he was a freshman. He had a friend who was a senior and they were coming home from a basketball game and some drunk guy hit them and they flipped. They were both killed instantly."   
"Brian I'm so sorry," I said touching his arm.   
"Don't worry about it," Brian said. He looked toward the exit. "Its guys like Chris that make me mad. We found out later that it was a guy from another school, another senior that was drunk."  
I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I had never expected Brian to tell me something like this.   
"Listen I don't want you getting all upset over this," he said. The song had changed to a rap song and he had to scream to be heard.   
I nodded. I looked toward the door again and turned back to Brian.   
He looked at me. "Something is very wrong here."   
  
  
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
The song "Heaven" by DJ Sammy was playing. I was dancing with Matt. I was really uncomfortable. I didn't understand why. I mean I should like Matt, right? I was supposed to like my date to the dance. I kept trying to find my sister.   
" Baby your all that want, while I'm lying here in my arms, I finding it hard to believe we're in heaven"-- Heaven. I couldn't understand why I was dancing with MATT DAVIDSON to that song. I hated him with every bone in my body. Finally I spotted my sister.   
" Excuse me." I said.   
" Why?" Matt asked.  
" I want to talk to my sister," I said with a glare.   
" Whatever." He said. "I'm getting a drink." He hissed with a low voice and shoved me away. I glared and started walking over to my sister. She looked really great, Brian looked like the dork he is. I walked over, as soon as the song ended.  
" Hey!" She said all perky and happy.  
"Hi, you having fun?" I asked.  
" Oh tons." she said gleaming. "Except all the rap."  
" Oh boo-hoo, they play plenty of pop." I said and rolled my eyes.   
" Yeah your right. Listen, I don't want to worry you...but something is wrong with Chris." She said full of concern, I couldn't tell if the concern was for me or him.  
" in the vein of what?" I asked.  
"He's drunk."  
" No biggie. He's always drunk." I said and laughed. She looked serious.   
" Don't do anything stupid." She snapped.  
" Whatever. I wanted to talk. And you decided to go all nuts." I snapped back and left. I walked back over to where Matt was. He looked really, really mad at me.   
" Oh my date decided to show up?" He asked bitter.  
" Maybe." I snapped.   
" Ooooo." Some kids sang.   
" We'll talk later." He said really meanly.  
" Maybe." I said. He grabbed my wrist.  
" We will." He hissed in my ear. I ripped my wrist from his. "Let's dance."  
" Fine." I said. We started dancing to "Hella Good"-- No Doubt. We danced for a long time it was kind of enjoyable. Matt was treating me great, his friends were being awesome. I just wished I was with my friends. I kept looking over to where my sister was. She was having a great time, every time a rap song came on, you could see her and her friends make faces. I would laugh.  
  
It was about nine o'clock. When I decided to go talk to some of my friends. I walked over to where Holly was.  
" Hey Holly." I said.  
" Hey, hows the hunk?"  
" Let's not talk about him." I said and rolled my eyes.   
" Okay." She said. "so yoy having fun?"  
" Yeah, you?" I asked smiling.  
" Tons. I never knew Nick Fatco was so nice." She said, and shrugged. "Well, I guess you want to go say hi to your other friends."  
" Yeah. I better go find the jerks." I said. We laughed and I walked away. I spotted Chris and a bunch of our friends. I walked over to them.  
" Hey Chris." I said and smiled.   
"Oh hey..." He said. His voice was slurred and his breath was really bad smelling.  
" You want a tictac?" I asked waving my hand in front of my mouth.   
" No." He said, "I want to talk. The rest of you leave." He said really slurred. Everyone else scattered, it was just me and Chris.  
" Yeah?" I asked.  
" You're sister is-" He started.  
" Is?" I asked.  
" Is an eavesdropper." He said, if I had tied his hands up, he wouldn't have been able to talk.   
" Is she?" I asked.  
" Yeah. She knew that we were bringing booze...and her boyfriend punched me."  
" Don't worry about Brian." I said.  
" I don't. He's only mad because my brother and his brother use to be friends. And the two of them and a couple of kids got drunk. Brians brothers car crashed and he's dead. My brother is living."   
" Oh." I said. "and that didn't teach you anything?"  
" No." Chris said.   
" Right." I said and folded my hands.   
  
Chris and I talked about nothing until the dance ended. We were all leaving towards the parking lot. Chris was stumbling around like crazy. I knew I couldn't let him drive. So I followed him out to his car.   
" Give me your keys. Your going home with me." I said.  
" No." He said.  
" Give me." I said sticking out my hand.  
" No." He said louder.  
" YES!" I screamed. I noticed some people watching us.   
" No, okay, no." He yelled back.   
" Give me your keys." I said angry.  
" No!" He yelled. I started laughing, I didn't even think anything was funny. I just started laughing. My sister and Brian were watching us, so was her little possee.  
" Just give me the keys." I screamed and stomped on his foot.  
" OW!" He screamed back and stomped on mine.   
" Give me them!"  
" No!"  
" Yes!"  
" NO!" He yelled. We kept fighting for a couple minutes when Matt came behind me and grabbed my arm.   
" Knock it off Amy, we're going." He yelled, he had his huge hands wrapped around my small wrist like a small bracelet.  
" No," I said.  
" We're going." He said, he just pulled me along into his car. Everyone was watching us, Chris was standing in front of his car mad. Matt shut the windows, and started screaming at me. He drove away, and i sobbed. I hated him.  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
Brian and I raced out of the gym and into the parking lot but the car was already gone. I felt tears come to my eyes.   
"Brian my sister is driving around with a drunk," I sobbed.   
"Matt wasn't drunk but Chris was," Brian said.   
I buried my head in my hands. "Brian what am I going to do?" I looked at him.   
"It'll be OK," Brian said. Then I heard a phone ringing. Brian answered it. He talked for a few minutes and then hung up. "My dad can't come and get us he had to go take care of my grandmother he said maybe my friend Chase could take us home."   
"OK," I said. Chase was Brian's best friend and was on the basketball team. I'd never ridden with him before but Brian said he was a good driver.   
"Come on let's go find him," Brian said. He looked at me. "Your sister will be OK."   
"I don't know if I can believe you," I said as we walked back into the noisy gym.   
We spotted Chase talking to his friends and went over to him.   
"Chase could you drive Ash and I home?" Brian asked.   
"Sure," Chase said. "Have you called Dr. Hansen Ash?"   
I looked at Brian. "OK why didn't I think of that?" I grabbed his phone and dialed the house. "I'll just tell her you're bringing me home."  
"Cool," Chase said. "You guys both live really close to me anyway."   
"Thanks man," Brian said. "I owe you one."   
Finally the phone picked up. It was Joanie. I told her the situation and she said that was fine. I didn't tell her about Amy, I should of but I didn't want her to worry. I said goodbye and hung up. "OK all set." I had a sinking feeling that I should of told Joanie what was going on with Amy but I couldn't I didn't want them to worry about something they couldn't do anything about.   
"Ok ready to go?" Chase asked.   
"Yep," I said. I followed Chase and Brian to Chase's car and we got in. Chase has a tiny sports car and its really cool. I got in back and Brian got in front with Chase. It had started to rain and suddenly it was as if the sky broke loose.   
"Where did the rain come form?" Chase asked to no one in particular has he pulled out of the parking lot. He stopped to watch for traffic before pulling out onto the street.   
"I don't know," I said. "I didn't think it was supposed to rain tonight."   
Chase started driving down the road. We talked as we drove telling each other about our families well mainly I talked since Chase didn't know me all that well.   
"So you're into pop music huh Ash?" Chase asked as we turned a corner.   
"Yeah," I said. "My sister hates it."   
"I've seen her around school what's the deal with the pink hair thing?" Chase asked.   
I laughed. "I have no idea you'll have to ask her that."   
Suddenly a car hit us from behind making Chase swerve. I felt myself go forward in my seat.   
"What's that jerk doing?" Chase mumbled angrily.   
I looked behind me. The car was swerving into the other lane.  
"Darn it I have to get over," chase mumbled again. He started pulling over and suddenly I felt the car that had been behind us hit and we went smashing into the car directly in front of us. I felt my whole body lift up out of the seat. I heard tires squeal, breaking glass and then all went black.   
  
Lights, voices, hundreds of voices pounded into my ears. I couldn't think, I couldn't even open my eyes. What had happened? Was I still sick? I couldn't remember. Everything was out of focus. I heard muffed voices but I didn't know if they were talking to me.   
"The driver of the car in front of them is dead I don't know about the other person in that car," heard someone say. I didn't know what they were talking about. Had I been in an accident? I couldn't remember. I then felt someone place a hand on me.   
"Honey I'm a paramedic you were involved in a very serious car accident," the paramedic said. "Can you tell me your name?"   
I opened my eyes, My head hurt. "Ashley," I choked out. "Bidwell. Where am I?"   
"You're in an ambulance we're taking you to the hospital," the paramedic said.   
I wanted to ask who had been with me but I was too out of it and in to much pain to talk anymore. I closed my eyes and when I awoke again I was being wheeled somewhere.   
"Ashley I'm Dr. Stevens," I heard someone say. I saw a bright light. "Give me the bullet."   
"Estimated sixteen year old female name Ashley Bidwell involved in a auto accident. GCS is 14, pressures holding at 71."   
"OK," Dr. Stevens said. I saw her bend down to me. "Ashley is there someone we can call?"   
"I'm living with Dr. Hansen," I whispered.   
"Call Dr. Hansen NOW," Dr. Stevens yelled.   
"What about my boyfriend?" I asked. "And my friend Chase?"   
"We'll check for you," Dr. Steven said. "I just need for you to relax right now."   
Then I heard a door open. "Dr. Stevens I've got another form that same accident, I think she's the sister."  
"Is she conscious?" Dr. Stevens asked. Suddenly I realized Dr. Stevens had left. Were they talking about Amy? Had she been in the accident too? I wanted to cry, I wanted to see my sister but I was in so much pain I could barely think. Then Dr. Stevens came back into the room.   
"And the other people in the car?" she was asking. I was still lying on a backboard and had a cervical collar around my heck so I couldn't move.   
"One was DOA at the scene and the others have been taken to University," the person said. "Have you contacted the parents?"   
"Yes," Dr. Stevens said. "The two girls are twins and they both belong to Dr. Syd Hansen."   
"And the boy?"   
"He's still unconscious," Dr. Stevens said.   
I felt tears coming down my cheeks. "Where's Brian?" I called out. Were Brian and Chase OK?   
"You need to stay calm Ashley," Dr. Stevens said.. "Are you in any pain?"   
"All over," I replied still crying. I silently prayed that everyone was going to be OK.   
Then a door opened. "Ok Dr. Stevens I think I got this figured out," a person said.   
"OK," Dr. Stevens said.   
"Ashley and Amy are twins, Ashley was riding with the boy Brian and Chase who have both been airlifted to University and Amy was riding with Matt...." Her voice trailed off, I saw them walk out of the room.   
"Is the sister awake?" I heard them ask as they came back into the room.   
"She was for a moment," the person said. I saw her walk over to me. "Ashley I'm Karen I'm a med student."   
"Is my sister OK?" I asked.   
"She was conscious long enough for her to tell us her name and who she was riding with but we gave her heavy pain medication to help her sleep. She's been taken up to CT."   
"And the other boy, her friend Matt?" I asked. It was hard for me focus, the medication they'd just given me was making me sleepy, but didn't care I had to know what had happened.   
"They haven't found him yet."   
  
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
  
I didn't know what happened. I was lying in a bed, everything was black. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't. I could hear everything around me, but couldn't see a thing. I heard people moving around. I had incredible pain throughout my body. I was so scared, what was going on? I didn't even know. I couldn't see a thing, I could hear people, I had incredible pain throughout my body. I didn't even know who I was. I remembered telling someone, but I had no idea what I said. I didn't know who I was, what was going on, or anything.   
" File report Amy Bidwell. Fifteen year old girl, mother died. Twin sister." I heard a female rolling stats. I remember who I was. I was so thankful for them doing that. I still didn't know who I was. Everything was still black. Everything hurt.   
" Uh, yes. Call a helicopter we're flying her to a trauma center." I heard a voice say. "She has severe brain damage, fractured ribs, she needs more care than we can provide. Call immediately."   
I didn't know who they were talking about, I couldn't see. I wanted my Mom, my sister, my friends. For God's sake I wanted Matt...I wanted a hug. I felt horrbile all over. Finally I thought, Can I be blind? And was terrified. Everything was going fast, I couldn't see I was in pain. I was being moved, when everything just went blank...it was already black...but now there was nothing.  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
I could feel myself slipping further and further away. I could hear voices around me. One voice I recognized very well...Syd. I opened my eyes to find Syd standing over me.   
"Hey," she said.   
"Where's Amy? Where's Brian?" I asked. Pain shot through me. "I hurt all over."   
"Amy was transferred to another hospital," Syd informed me. "And I don't know about Brian."   
I nodded. I was to out of it to respond. I slept most of the time; probably because of the pain medication they were giving me. When I was finally alert enough to ask how bad my injuries were it was the next afternoon.   
"You had a slight concussion and you have a broken arm and a broken rib," Syd said. "Nothing that can't be fixed."   
"What about my sister?" I asked. I was more concerned about Amy and Brian then anything else.   
"Your sister is in a coma," Syd said. I could hear her voice breaking.   
"How bad?" I asked.   
"There's been some head trauma we don't know when she'll come out of this or if she will." Syd took my hand.   
"Oh god," I cried. I looked at Syd tears streaming down my cheeks. "Why did this have to happen?"   
"I don't know sweetie," Syd replied. "My dad and Joanie are at the hospital with your sister."   
Then a nurse came into the room. "Dr. Hansen Brian Weasley is awake."   
"Thanks," Syd said. She turned to me. "I'll be right back I've got to go check on Brian."   
"Will you tell him hi for me?" I asked. I was still pretty groggy from the medication.   
"Sure," Syd said. She rubbed my forehead and walked out of the room.   
I laid there trying to remember what had happened. I remembered the glass breaking, I remember the tires on the pavement but I couldn't remember why we had wrecked in the first place. Had someone hit us? I couldn't think. My mind was in a fog. All I was concerned about was my sister and Brian. Whoever or whatever had done this was going to pay.   
Then Syd came back into the room.   
"How's Brian?" I asked.   
"Still a little out of it," Syd replied as she checked my IV. "Worried about you I told him you were alert and worried about him."   
I smiled. I looked at Syd long and hard. "I can't lose my sister Syd I can't."   
  
A few hours later I was alert enough to go see Brian. Syd helped me into a wheelchair (the pain was almost more than I could take) and wheeled me to where Brian was. I sat by his bed and took his hand. He looked at me and smiled.   
"I was hoping you'd come," he said. "Do you remember what happened?"   
"Not really just tiny bits," I replied. "Are you OK?"   
"I'll be fine," Brian said. "What about Chase?"   
I shook my head. "I don't know anything I think he was taken to the other hospital. My sister is in a coma."   
"She was in it too?" Brian asked.   
I nodded. "Yes. Syd said she doesn't know if Amy will come out of it or not."   
"Ash I'm so sorry," Brian said. He looked at me as if realizing something shocking. "If your sister was in the accident too then that means that Matt...."   
I nodded. "Last night I heard someone talking about a DOA on the scene."   
"What?" Brian asked. He still sounded groggy.   
"Dead on arrival," came Syd's voice form the doorway. She walked into the room.   
I looked at her. "Who?"   
"Matt's dead," Syd whispered.   
I looked at Brian. "Are you sure?"   
Syd nodded. "I'm afraid so. I just called the other hospital, Chris just got out of surgery and his parents are there now."   
"Will we have to tell Amy when she wakes up?" I asked.   
Syd nodded. "Yes."   
"Dr. Hansen will Amy be Ok?" Brian asked. "I'm just asking because she's Ashley's sister..."   
"Oh be quiet you know exactly why you're asking," I said. "You don't really hate her do you?"   
"Well I have to pretend I do," Brian said. He looked back at Syd. "So will she?"   
"Its hard to say," Syd said. Her voice started breaking again. "There's no telling when she'll come out of it or if she will."   
  
  
  
Amys POV  
  
Everything was black, black and quiet. Extremely quiet, and black. I was scared. I didn't know what was going on. Everything was dark, when I saw this light. I started walking there. Mom and Sharon were there. They were waving, and smiling. The light looked so beautiful and warm. I kept walking, it was this long tunnel. Sharon and Mom were at the end, smiling. Waving, I started running, and running.  
" Mommy!" I screamed. She smiled gently, and kept waving. I got to her, and we were in a tight embrace. Sharon and I were hugging too. I felt like I was being ripped away, We were holding on to each other as long as I could. But I was being ripped away.... I didn't want too....  
  
"Oh thank God!" I saw Joanie say, making the cross on her body. There were machines and tubes attached to me. Joanie came over and started holding my hand. She blew me kisses. I started closing my eyes again, I couldn't stay awake. I didn't know why. I was in unbearable pain, everything hurt.   
I saw Mom and Sharon again...but then everything went black. Black and quiet. And once again before I knew it, it was black, quiet, and blank....  
  
I finally woke up. Ashley, Jim, Syd, Joanie, and Hannah were in the room. I just looked around, confused. They all looked so happy, and crying.   
" Oh Amy." Syd said. I couldn't speak. "You've been in a coma for three weeks. You died...." she said and started crying. "They revived you, and you went back in the coma."  
" Oh God, we were so scared." Joanie said, giant tears down her face. "Your sister was discharged three days ago. She's still too weak to walk."  
"Hi Amy." Ashley said. Right away I knew something was wrong, there was no doubt.   
" Uh, Amy. Your sister has something to tell you. Do you remember anything?" Jim asked. I shook my head no. "Okay, well Ashley's going to fill you in" Jim said. They left, it was only Ashley and me.  
" You don't remember anything?" She asked. I shook my head no. Ashley started crying. She kept looking at my face, but wouldn't say anything about it. "This is going to be so hard."  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
I couldn't stop crying, I felt like Syd having to tell her patients that someone had died.  
Amy still had the tube in down her throat. She looked at me with questioning eyes.   
I took a deep breath. "Amy I'm afraid I have some bad news, Matt is dead."   
Amy looked at me like I'd just slapped her in the face.   
"I'm so sorry Amy," I said. I didn't know what else to say, my sister had lost our mom, her best friend and now her boyfriend. I couldn't even imagine what she was feeling right now. I looked at her, her face was all scarred up and it looked pretty gross. I couldn't even stand to look at it. I wheeled toward the door and opened it. I looked at Syd.   
"Please don't ask me to do something like that again," I said and wheeled down the hall. I saw Syd go back into Amy's room. That had been the hardest thing I'd ever done, almost as hard as telling her I had a month to live. I didn't know which was worse. I saw Brian wheeling down the hall. We were both still really weak Brian especially since he had had major surgery.   
"Did you tell her?" Brian asked.   
I nodded. "Yes," I whispered. "Her face looks really bad Bri but I didn't have the heart to tell her."   
Brian took my hand. "Do you remember what happened?"   
"Only what I told you a few days ago," I said. I smiled. "But you were petty out of it. Do you remember anything?"   
"Some," Brian said. "Do they know who caused it?"   
"Chris," I blurted out. "Remember he was drunk?"   
"Thank God your sister didn't go with him," Brian said.   
"I know," I said. I heaved a sigh of relief. "We were all very lucky...well almost."   
"I know," Brian said. "Well I think we should move we're kinda in the middle of the hallway."   
I laughed for the first time in days and we wheeled back to Amy's room. Joanie was talking to Tina in the hall.   
"Syd removed the tube," Joanie told us.   
"Does she know about her face?" I asked.   
Joanie shook her head. "No but Syd said she'll need reconstructive surgery."   
"Is she going to do it?" I asked.   
"I would hope so," Joanie said sarcastically.   
I looked at her.   
"Sorry," Joanie apologized.   
Then Syd came out of the room wearing blue scrubs and white tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled back in a bun. "Hey guys."   
"How's my sister?" I asked.   
"She's hanging in there sweetie," Syd said in a serious tone. "Amy is going to need surgery to repair the damage to her face and her leg is in pretty bad shape too."   
"Are you going to do her face?" I asked Syd.   
"I'm going to assist yes," Syd answered. "But we've got to worry about her leg first. If we don't hurry up and operate there's a possibility of losing it."   
"Oh my God," Joanie said. She covered her mouth. "When will you do the surgery?"   
"As soon as I can get an OR free," Syd said. She looked at me. "Do you want to see her? I've got to go find an OR that's free."   
"Sure," I said. I wheeled back into my sister's room. I wheeled over to her bed.   
"Is what you said true? Is Matt really dead?" she asked.   
I nodded. "Yes."   
"I can't take anymore of this Ash," she sobbed. I'd never heard her cry openly before.   
"I know," I said. I didn't tell her about Chris I figured it'd upset her even more.   
Then Syd came into the room. "Amy we're taking you to surgery now."   
"Why?" Amy snapped. "I don't want surgery I want to go home."   
"I know," Syd said. "Just bear with us OK? I promise this will all be over soon."   
I wheeled back out into the hallway and watched as Syd and some nurses wheeled Amy to the OR.   
"Good luck," I whispered.   
  
  
  
Amys POV  
  
It had been a day since I had surgery. I wanted to know what was wrong with me, except no one would tell me. I knew my leg was screwed up, but something else was wrong. And no one would tell me. I was scared. People were coming in, popping pills in my mouth, sticking me with needles; I was hooked up to different machines and what not. It was so hard, so hard. Not knowing what was wrong sucked more.   
" This is so stupid. Let me see my face. Something is wrong, why aren't you people showing me?" I demanded.   
" No Amy." Joanie said.   
" LET ME SEE!" I screeched.  
" Okay." Ashley said. She ripped out a mirror from her purse, and brought it over to me. She put it in front of my face. I looked so ugly. My face was distorted. My face was scarred, I had these big patches everywhere, my eye was all messed up, I just looked ugly. I finally didn't look like my sister, I looked like some stranger. I didn't know myself. I was soooo ugly, the blob looked better than me.   
" Oh my God." I mumbled.   
" Amy, its okay. They're going to do surgery to your face. It'll look the same." Joanie said.   
" No it won't." I cried. I started sobbing. Joanie came over to me, and hugged me. Telling me I was beautiful no matter what. Ashley looked like she had no idea what to do... and she sadly rolled out of the room.  
  
About three days later, I got a visitor. Chris. Chris, I started crying when he came. He started crying.  
" Oh Amy." He cried. He came over to me, and hugged me.  
" What happened?" I asked sobbing. He got a grip.  
" It's my fault." He said.  
" Huh?" I asked.  
" At the dance, you begged me to give you the keys. I refused. Matt pulled you into his car I drove away. Chase, Brian and you sister drove away. Next thing I knew, I hit a car, and before I knew it, I was in the hospital."  
" You did this?" I asked, trying to bite what was left of my lip.   
" I'm sorry." He said.  
" You made me look like this?" I screamed. "You killed Matt? You almost killed me, my sister, and that loser?"   
" Listen Amy. You were drinking too, I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I was going home! Going home! The car stopped suddenly, and I hit it. It was an ACCIDENT"  
" I was drinking." I cried.  
" Yeah you were. Obviously you didn't know it. But they found alcohol in your system."  
" IT'S NOT FAIR! I NEVER DID ANYTHING!" I screamed. "I tried to help you, I was staying sober..." I said. I just broke down and cried. I sobbed. My life was falling apart again.   
" I'm sorry." Chris said.  
" I know. But sorry isn't fixing any of this." I cried.  
" If it helps, I was thrown from the car. And I have a fake knee now." He said. "We're all screwed for life. I think Brian and Ashley got off the best."  
" We're all screwed for life because of one night." I cried. He nodded. all I could do was cry.  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
The next day I was sitting by Amy's bedside watching her sleep when the door opened. I turned around to see my father standing there with a worried expression on his face.   
"How's she doing?" he asked.   
"OK," I said. I looked at him. "Look dad I really need to stay with Syd right now she's closer to the hospital and..." he cut me off.   
"Honey I understand," Dad said. "I'm just glad you are all OK."   
"Not all of us," I said. I looked back at my sister. "Her boyfriend is dead. Dad I don't know how much more of this she can take. She's never been the strong one in the family."   
"She'll get through this," Dad said. "And we'll help."   
I nodded. I hugged him crying. We stayed like that for a long time. "Is Alex here?"   
"She's at school," Dad said.   
"That's where I'm supposed to be," I whispered.   
"You just concentrate on getting better," Dad said. He stood up and went over to Amy's bed.   
"I'll let you talk to her alone," I said and slowly walked out of the room. I was still pretty weak but at least I didn't need the wheelchair anymore. I found Robbie in the hallway.   
"Hey," he said.   
"HI," I said. I looked down at my feet.   
"How's your sister?" he asked.   
I shrugged. "I don't know."   
  
I sat on the couch staring at the blank TV screen. I was so worried about my sister not even singing could take my mind off of it. I had tried calling Alex but she wasn't home. Frustrated and tired from the previous days I laid down on the couch. Our whole lives were ruined because of one night. I still couldn't believe that Chris had done something like that and now we were paying the price, my sister mostly. I just prayed to God that everything would be OK.   
"Hey kiddo," Joanie said coming onto the room from the kitchen. "Have you heard from Syd?"  
I shook my head. "No not yet. Can you take me back to the hospital in a few minutes?"   
"Sure," Joanie said.   
I looked her and then started crying. She embraced me in a hug.   
"Things will work out OK," she said.   
I looked at her through my tears. "You don't know that for sure." I got up and went upstairs, turning on Mandy Moore's new song Top Of The World. I listened to the words, they were so what I was going through right now.   
  
Lift me up when I was falling my friend I was calling, lift me up, I'm on top of the world top of the whole wide world. You always been believing my life will have new meaning top of the world top of the whole wide world...   
  
I laid down on my bed and finished listening to the song. Hopefully one day when all this was over I'd be on top of the world.   
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
I sat in my hospital bed, bored outta my mind. I had never been so lonely, or bored in my life. No one ever came in during the day. They were either in school, or work. I was missing so much of school. I was sure I'd fail. But, people brought me my work. And I was getting tons of presents, flowers, and cards. My left eye was finally back in it's original place, and I could see out of it. THe next thing they had to do was my lip. Considering I hardly had any lips.   
Next day Ashley came over to visit me. She walked in, and gave me my schoolwork.   
" So hows everything?" she asked with a weak smile.   
" Just peachy." I replied sarcastically.   
"I'm so sorry about everything." She said. "If it helps, everyone talks about you."  
" Great, so now I'm the sick, hopeless, disgusting, beasty Bidwell." I said. I was just annoyed at the world.   
" No everyone feels sorry-" Ashley started.  
" Oh great, so I'm the pity girl?" I said and sighed.  
" No, they feel sorry about everything that happened, and they miss you a lot."   
" Oh." I said, not believing a word about her.  
" It's true. In fact I have another folder full of cards again." Ashley said. She opened her book bag. She handed me her "card" folder. There was at least 30 cards in there for me. People either were forced to send me cards, or they really cared. And I wasn't sure what it was. But it was cool to get some cards.   
" I can't believe it's late September." I said disappointed.   
" Yeah, well. Before we know it, it'll be summer again."  
" Oh, I highly doubt that." I said.   
" It's true." She said and smiled. "Well, I'm suppose to go out with Brian. Bye." She said and left. I sat there and started to cry. It wasn't fair, I had behaved myself. I was good, now everyone was dying left and right. I might not have loved Matt, but I did like him a little. And it was so not fair he died, and I was hideous.... I hated it.   
  
  
It had been two weeks later, I was going back into surgery. It was October. I could see it everywhere. All i really had to do all day was watch tv, and stare out the window. I'd get so lonley. Then Ashley would come for about 20 minutes, then Joanie and Hannah, then Mark, then Syd. They wheeled me to the OR.  
" Okay Amy, we're going to put you to sleep now." The Doctor said.  
" Whatever." I mumbled. They started putting a mask on my face, I just sat there bored. I'd wake up before I knew it, be in pain, stay in the recovery room for a couple hours, go back to my room and then start my regular routine all over again.  
  
Next thing i knew, I was waking up in the recovery room. Syd was there. She came over to me.  
" How you feeling?" She asked.  
" Like crap. My face hurts." I whined.  
" I know, but remember, soon you'll be back home."  
" Syd, I can't even walk. I'm going to have to go to rehab." I said.  
" Yes, well, we're getting you a tutor. You probably won't be back in school until next year."  
" Next year?" I screamed. Next thing i knew, I was opening my eyes again. I forgot I was heavily drugged.  
" Yes next year." Syd said and smiled.  
" This blows." I complained. "Matt is lucky."   
" What?"  
" At least he died. He doesn't have to sit in a hospital until like forever."  
" Oh Amy." Syd said. I started crying, she couldn't hug me, but she held my hand. I still sobbed.   
After a couple hours they pushed me back to my bedroom. I was so sad, there were a million flowers, and presents, and cards in my room. But it didn't matter.  
" I'll see you tomorrow." Syd said.   
" Alright." I said quietly.  
" Bye Amester." Syd said and gave me a smile. She left closing the door behind her. I sat there and sobbed, for a long time.   
  
Life sucked. I closed my eyes. Ashley and I were probably about 25. We were in some room, I had a wedding dress on. She was fixing me up. We were talking and what not. Finally I knew I had to go. I walked out to the hallway, and i was in a huge cathedral. I was scared, I realized i was getting married. But I calmed down. I was fine. I walked up the aisle... Jim was next to me holding my arm. I got towards the front, Jim kissed my cheek, and my Mom came from the side. She kissed the other cheek, and i kept walking. I saw Matt up in the front....Sharon was my maid of honor. I smiled at Matt, he smiled back. Everything was awesome, Ashley was in the back, holding hands with Brian, watching us. Smiling, taking pictures. Chris was in the front in a wheelchair. Mom kept smiling and waving, wiping tears. Sharon was happy too. Matt and I were holding hands, and we were about to kiss....  
" Amy...Amy." I heard a faint voice say.  
" What?" i asked and opened my eyes.   
" It's Saturday. I came to visit." Ashley said and smiled. I smiled back. It was just a dream, it would never be like that. Life would never, ever be like that. "Dreamer" by Ozzy Osbourne came in my head, the lyrics were perfect for my moment...  
"I'm just a dreamer/ I dream my life away/ Today I'm just a dreamer/ Who dreams of better days/Okay/ I'm just a dreamer/ Who's searching for the way/Today I'm just a dreamer/ Dreaming my life away"   
The lyrics were perfect for me. All I had was to dream. Because reality was too harsh and hard to accept....at least in my dreams I had control in my life....  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
I went to see my sister everyday. She was getting better but Syd had said it would take a long time for her to recover. I felt sorry for her but I was also relieved that it wasn't worse than it was. Brian came back to school in the middle of September and it was now Oct. 31st Halloween. Brian and I were going to a Halloween party. I was in my room deciding what I was going to be when the doorbell rang.   
"Crap crap crap," I muttered under my breath. I raced downstairs and threw open the door. Two kids with masks on were standing on the doorstep. I grabbed the candy and went back to the door. "Here you go," I said.   
The kids pulled off their masks and I laughed. It was Brian and Casey.   
"Thought we'd surprise you," Brian said.   
I smiled. "Great surprise lord know I could use a laugh."   
"I know Ash," Brian said. He and Casey came into the house and I shut the door.   
"So what are you gonna be?" Casey asked. "Hey I know you can be Jamie."   
I wrinkled my nose. "Uh no thanks I think people are getting a little tired of that."   
Casey shrugged. "True. Well what then?"   
"I'm not in the dressing up mood," I said. I looked down at my jeans and pink shirt. "I'll just go like this, I didn't find anything anyway."   
"Come on Ash get in the spirit," Casey urged. She poked Brian in the ribs. "A little help here."   
"Hey Ash why don't you go as a nurse," Brian suggested.   
"I've been around nurses way to long," I said. "So have you remember?" I sighed. "I'm sorry I guess I'm just really bummed about Amy. That night changed our whole lives possibly forever. Another one of our friends is dead and my sister isn't going to be able to return to school until next year."   
"Ash I didn't even think about that," Casey said.   
"Its OK," I said with a small smile "You guys go have fun I'll be fine. I'm not in the mood to party."   
"NO way if your not going then we're not going," Brian said.   
"You guys I..." I began but was cut off.   
"No buts," Brian said. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Grabbing the remote he turned on the TV and started flipping channels. "Hey look Double Double Tol and trouble is on with those twins. you know.."   
"Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen," Casey and I finished for him.   
"Yeah that's them," Brian said.   
Casey sat down on the couch beside Brian and I sat down on his other side.   
"I've seen this movie a thousand times," Casey said.   
"Yeah but it's the perfect Halloween movie," Brian said.   
"We could find something better but what the heck," I said. I had the best friends in the entire world and the best boyfriend in the entire world. "Thanks guys."   
  
Brian, Casey and I watched movies and talked until like midnight and then they had to leave. I sat on the couch just listening to the clock ticking. I wondered if Amy was having a good Halloween even if she was stuck in the hospital.   
"You going to bed?" Joanie asked coming into the room.   
I nodded. "Hey Joanie can you take me to the hospital to visit my sister? Please."   
"Sweetie she's probably asleep by now," Joanie said. "We can go first thing tomorrow I promise."   
I nodded. "OK."   
Joanie smoothed back my hair. "I know this is very difficult for you."   
I stood up. "I'm going to bed and thanks for trying to make me feel better it'll take time you know." I walked upstairs to my room and laid down on my bed not even bothering to change clothes.   
  
"Halloween is the time to load up on candy," I heard a voice say. I sat up and looked around.   
"Hello?" I called.   
Then I saw Lynda, Syd''s mother appear before me. "Oh good Ash you're here maybe you can talk Syd into eating some of this candy I brought."   
"Mother leave her out of this," Syd scolded. She glared at her mother.   
I laughed and took a piece of candy. "Come on Syd live a little."   
Then another person came into the room...Sharon.   
"How did I get here I was supposed to be with Amy," she said. She looked at me.   
I didn't say anything.   
"Ok well I'm off," Sharon said and walked out of the room.   
"Sorry dear got to run," Lynda said.   
I watched her leave and looked at Syd. "Weird dream."   
Syd nodded. "Yeah very weird."   
  
I awoke with a start and looked around. That had been one weird dream that was for sure. I crawled out of bed and quickly took a shower and put on different clothes. I turned on the song Split Chick by Mandy Moore and started brushing out my hair. I couldn't wait to tell Amy about the dream I'd had, if only life were that simple.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
I opened my eyes, and looked out the window. The sun was rising, and the sky was a beautiful pink. I was so mad and annoyed though. I missed Halloween, because basically I was STUCK IN THE PITS OF HELL okay really a hospital, but it felt like my own Hell.   
Probably an hour later, Ashley, Joanie, and Hannah came to see me. Ashley came over and handed me some candy.  
" Hey, this is the candy left over from last night." She said with a smile.  
" Thanks." I said and sighed. "Hi Hannah. Hi Joanie."  
" Hey Sweetie." Joanie said.  
" Amy, I was a kitty cat." Hannah said.  
" Really?" I asked.  
" Uh-huh. I brought you a candy bar too."   
" Thanks." I said with a smile. We all talked. Then Joanie decided her and Hannah would go to Starbucks get some coffee. I knew she just wanted to let Ashley and I have some time together.   
" I had this weird dream last night. Syd's Mom was trying to get Syd to eat candy, and you and Sharon were there." Ashley said and laughed.  
" Yeah." I said and smiled.   
" Yeah."  
" So what did you do last night?" I asked.  
" Uh, Brian and Casey came over. We watched movies for a while." Ashley said. "You?"  
" Oh funny." I snapped.  
" I'm sorry. For a minute I forgot." She said. "I'm really sorry."  
" No it's okay." I said, and sighed. "So how's the weather?"  
" You want to talk about the weather?" She asked surprised.   
" You're acting like I can go outside and feel it." I said meanly.  
" I'M SORRY! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Ashley screeched. I started to cry. "What's wrong now?" she snapped.  
" God Ashley. How about you sit here in this hospital bed, getting plastic surgery ever other week, not feeling the outside, being bored all day, knowing your not going to see school until the next school year, your friends are dying, not being able to do anything you want?"  
" I was, remember?" She said.  
" Yeah, you weren't in a hospital 24/7!" I screamed.   
" I was still sick!"   
" GOD YOU REMIND ME OF MARK!"  
" DADDY IS AWESOME!"  
" Yeah, in people eyes like yours!" I snapped.   
" What's that suppose to mean?" She asked.  
" Nothing." I snapped. "Go home."  
" FINE!" She screamed. She went flying out of the room. I started crying again, and once again the song "Dreamer" matched my feelings perfectly.  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
On the ride home I was silent. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't think clearly. I was so mad and scared and frustrated at the same time. I didn't know how to help my sister, there was nothing I could do and once again I felt as if I were losing her. When we got home I called Casey I needed to talk to someone and Joanie was fixing to take Hannah to the park, Syd was at work and Jim. well he was downstairs in the vet clinic, that only left Casey and Brian.   
"Hello?" Casey answered.   
"Hey its me," I said. I settled back on my bed against the pillows.   
"Hey!" she said excited. "I was fixing to call you but I didn't know what time you were leaving for the hospital."   
"We just go back," I said. I groaned.   
"What's wrong?" Casey asked. She sounded concerned.   
"I don't know what to do about my sister anymore Case," I complained.   
"Just give her time," Casey answered. "She'll come around I bet it sucks being stuck in that hospital 24/7."   
"That's exactly what she said," I said. "So what are you doing tonight?"   
"The youth is going bowling tonight," Casey replied. "Hey do you want to go? You can call Brian and see if he wants to go."   
I thought for a moment. Bowling would be fun and I hadn't done anything with my friends in a really long time. "Sure that sounds fun I'll ask Syd when she comes home for lunch and call you back."   
"OK," Casey said. "See ya later."   
I hung up the phone and sat there thinking. I really hoped I could go bowling but I also felt bad because my sister couldn't go. I sighed and went downstairs. Jim was in the kitchen with Heather.   
"Hi Ashley," Heather said cheerfully. Heather is one of my favorite people, besides Syd, Amy and the rest of my friends and family. She is so sweet and funny she cracks me up.   
"Hi," I answered. I grabbed and apple and bit into it.. "Hey Dr. Hansen would it be ok if I went bowling with Casey's youth group?"  
"I don't see why that would be a problem," Dr. Hansen said. "And Ash you can call me Jim."   
I laughed. "OK." I threw my apple away and went upstairs to call Casey. I just hoped Syd didn't mind my going. I grabbed the phone and dialed her number. She answered on the third ring.   
"Hey its me I can go," I said.   
"AWESOME!!" she practically screamed into the phone.   
I laughed. "OK you can calm down now."   
Casey giggled. "Sorry."   
"So are you gonna pick me up?" I asked.   
"Yeah, say around five forty five," Casey said. "The vans are leaving at six."   
"OK," I said.   
"Oh and bring 20 dollars and extra money for food," Casey replied.   
"OK will do," I said. "Bye." I hung up and went downstairs. Syd was in the kitchen.   
"Hey Ash," she said. "My dad said you're going bowling tonight."   
"Yeah," I said. "I hope its OK?"  
"Fine," Syd said.   
I smiled. I sat down beside her at the bar. "So how's Amy? We kinda had a fight...I feel so sorry for her. I feel bad that I'm doing this fun thing and she's stuck at the hospital bored out of her mind."   
"I know but she'll be home soon," Syd said.   
"She won't get to come back to school will she?" I asked.   
"I'm afraid not she still has a lot of rehab to get through."   
"Unbelievable," I muttered. "One night and our whole lives are ruined...."   
  
At five forty five Casey came to pick me up. Her mom drove us to the church and we waited outside the vans where a lot of kids were gathered. Finally it was time to load up. I sat in the front with Casey and this girl named Taylor sat beside me.   
"I'm a crappy bowler," Casey said.   
"Don't worry I am too," I said.   
Soon we reached the bowling ally and all of us hurried into the building. We got bowling shoes and went to a lane.   
"OK let me program you into the computer," Casey said. If I haven't mentioned this and I don't think I have Casey is a computer wiz she can do almost anything with them.   
Soon we were ready to play. I played badly, like I knew I would. Casey won the first game and by the second I wasn't doing that bad myself....   
  
The next day I sat in Amy's room telling her about bowling and hanging out with the youth. That didn't depress her to much because she doesn't like youth. She told me how she was doing and I was glad she was doing better, I only wished there was something more I could do.   
  
  
  
  
Amy's Part  
  
It was the week before Thanksgiving. I was really excited, the hospital was releasing me from Thanksgiving to New Years Eve. Then I'd go back and start surgery all over, but I didn't care...I was going home! I was packed, and ready to go, waiting for my ride.   
Finally after what felt to have last forever, my door opened and Syd and Ashley were there. Ashley grabbed my bags.  
" Ready?" Syd asked.  
" Ready as ever." I said excited. Syd put me in the wheelchair and she pushed me out of my room.  
" Oh my God, Amy we're going to have so much fun." Ashley said smiling. "I'll have to go to school and everything, but when I come home it's all you."  
" Okay..." I said. She pushed me outside I took a deep breath. Thanksgiving was around the corner, I knew it by the calendar, but you could smell it. The leaves were almost gone, but you could feel the holiday spirit. I loved smelling the air, I could smell the ocean, it smelt great. Syd picked me up and put me in the front seat, and put the wheelchair in the back.   
  
Later, we were eating dinner. It was so great not to have hospital food. I was so tired of it. It was disgusting and gross. So was what I was eating, cod and corn. But it was much better than the hospital. After dinner, I was taken upstairs to my room. I sat there and listened to my music totally relaxed and etc.   
" So, you happy to be home?" Ashley asked.  
" Did Justin break up with Briteny?" I asked. Ashley laughed.  
" I'll take that as a yes."  
" Good job." I said and smiled. "Ugh, I wish I could walk."  
" I know, being in a wheelchair bites." Ashley said with a smile.   
" Totally"  
" So what are your plans for your time home?" Ashley asked me.   
" To have fun. Eat good food, spend time with you guys, and my friends, oh my God. Just to be me."  
" Thats cool. I hope you have fun."  
" Me too." I said and smiled.   
I laid down, and stared at the ceiling. I thought about the time, I got home from riding around in a car with a bunch of kids from school. I was fourteen, and terrified. The guy who was driving was driving soooo fast, I was shaking. I was so happy to be home, safe. I came home and laid down on my bed, I could hear Ashley singing to Mandy Moore in her room. The next morning I found out the kids were in an accident, three out of the four died, and the driver was paralyzed for life. He was probably still sitting in a hospital, in a coma. With no legs, nor arms, and missing an eye. Right then, I wished I could be back in that car, feeling the wind against my hair like that. Speeding like that, shaking like that. Then sneaking inside listening to Ashley's voice sing. I only wish they were never in a car accident, because thats when I decided I was a bad omen. Everything that happened before that was bad, but no one ever died. After that night, though, everyone I ever had fun with was dying, dropping like flies. I hoped to God, that Larry(the driver) was dead so he wouldn't be suffering, and that I would walk again......  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
Amy and I were in the living room talking, she was lying on the couch and I was sitting in Jim's favorite chair. I hadn't seen Casey or Brian much since the bowling trip but all I wanted was to spend time with my sister. It felt like we were all closer since the accident, I could actually talk to my sister about things I couldn't before, like dying. Now she knew exactly what I had been going through when I'd been sick.   
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," Amy said.   
I laughed. "Once thing that hasn't changed." I stood up and went over to the stereo system.   
"Hey Ash?" Amy asked.   
I turned around. "Yeah?" I asked.   
"Will you sing for me?" she asked.   
I looked at her. Was I hearing her right? Did she really want me to sing for her? "What?" I asked. "You want me to sing for you? You hate when I sing."   
Amy shrugged as if embarrassed "Yeah. Look I never told you this but when I was fourteen I got in a car with a guy and he was going really fast and we almost wrecked and then I snuck inside and heard you singing and I don't know...." She couldn't finish.   
I hugged her. I didn't know what to say. "So what do you want me to sing?"   
"You know exactly the song I'm talking about," Amy said. I'd never heard her be this..oh what's the word...happy or excited about anything that had anything to do with me, especially Mandy Moore.   
"You've heard it about ten million times," I said.   
"Come on Ash please," Amy begged.   
"OK who are you and what have you done with my sister?" I joked. She remained serious.   
"Ash I'm serious," Amy said. "Something inside me clicked today...everyone I love is dying, dropping like flies and I can't take it anymore. I'm so sorry I was mean to you and...." She started crying again.   
I just stood there. Was this my sister sitting in front of me? Amy has NEVER EVER gotten emotional before, well except when I was sick...or at least not in front of me. I went over and turned on Only Hope, the piano version so I could sing along with it. The music started and I waited for my note to come in.   
  
That night I sat reading in my room, Amy sat on the bed reading a magazine. Thanksgiving was tomorrow and I think we were both excited.   
"Ashley come look at my picture," Hannah squealed running into the room. She pulled on my arm. "Come on come look." She looked over at Amy. "Come on Amy come look."   
"Sweetie she can't," I said bending down to her. "Why don't you go get your pictures and bring them here?"   
"OK," Hannah said happily and ran out of the room.   
"You're good with her," Amy said.   
"So are you," I said. "I know about the bike riding thing Amy."   
Amy's face got all red. "Just don't tell anyone about that OK?"   
"I won't," I said.   
Then Hannah came back into the room holding a long piece of paper. "Here's my picture." She started pointing to it. "Here's you and Brian and Amy and your mom."  
I looked at Amy suddenly realizing something. I knew she realized it too, it was our first thanksgiving without our mom.   
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
  
I just sat there stunned. Hannah was smiling, showing off her picture. I smiled real small...very small. I was breathing heavily....very heavy. Scared to death of sobbing right then and there hurting Hannah's feelings. Ashley bent down.  
" Thats a beautiful picture." She said with a smile.  
" Thank you. It's for your room." Hannah said. "I'm hungry. I'll be back." Hannah said with a huge smile. She went running out of the room, Ashley turned at me. Her face was kind of sad, yet stunned, yet very emotionless. I sat there, my heart sinking, my eyes welling up with tears. I was actually a very emotional person...just I didn't like showing it.   
" Amy..." Ashley started.  
" I don't want to talk." I snapped. I rolled over and hid my face in my pillow.  
" I'll miss her too." She said trying to comfort me.  
" No duh." I snapped. I was crying, and I didn't want too. I was sooo upset, and hurt, and confused. The last thing i wanted was my sister to be all, I'm here for you honey, blah blah.   
" Sis." She started,  
" GET LOST!" I yelled, closed my eyes and ignored every look I knew she was giving.   
  
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
Thanksgiving dinner or lunch as we called it came far to quickly. I didn't know if I could handle being around so many people when the one person I wanted more than anything to be there, mom. I missed her so much. I walked downstairs and found Syd and Joanie in the kitchen making the turkey.   
"Hey kiddo where's your sister?" Syd asked me. She was peeling a potato at the sink.   
"Who knows," I said sitting down at the bar. I tried to hold the tears back. "You know what I realized today?"   
Syd looked at me. "What was that?"   
"This is the first thanksgiving without my mom," I said. I was crying now. Syd came over and put an arm around me.   
"I know sweetie," she said softly.   
Then Hannah came bouncing into the room. She looked at me. "Ashley why are you crying?"   
"Because she's sad sweetie," Joanie said.   
Hannah came over and got up on the stool next to mine. She hugged me.   
"She's sad about her mommy," Joanie said. I knew she was trying to make Hannah understand so she wouldn't think she'd done something wrong.   
"I'll find you a mommy I don't want you to ever be sad," Hannah said.   
I hugged her. "Thank you sweet heart."   
Hannah got down from the bar. "Do you want to color with me?"   
I couldn't say no, it would take my mind off my mom. "Sure," I finally said after a second. I followed her into the living room. Her little table was set up in the far corner and already it had markers and paper all over it. I sat own in one of the tiny chairs and Hannah gave me a piece of paper.   
"I'm going to draw a flower," she said and sat down opposite of me. "What are you going to draw?"   
"I don't know," I said. I just sat there thinking, remembering. I remembered the time that mom had made a huge turkey and we'd eaten at our neighbor's house. Amy and I had been about ten and I remembered having a food fight.   
"Ashley," a voice said snapping me out of my daydream. I looked up to see Brian standing over me. "Hi," I said. I looked down at the paper.   
"Its OK," Brian said. He helped me up out of the chair. He kissed me softly on the lips.   
"ASHLEY AND BRIAN SITTTING IN A TREE KISSING," Hannah sang at the top of her lungs.   
I chased her around the room and she finally ran into the kitchen laughing. I turned back to Brian laughing.   
"She's so cute," he said. We sat on the couch together. "So having a good thanksgiving so far?"   
I nodded. I looked at him "Except for my mom." I didn't want to start crying all over again.   
"Yeah I know," Brian said.   
I nodded. I looked back at him. "Brian why aren't you spending time with your dad?"   
"My dad's coming over here," he said. "Didn't Syd tell you?"   
I shook my head. "No, but that's cool that you're eating with us."   
Then Amy came wheeling into the room (the only place in the house that's big enough for a wheelchair is the living room) with a CD on her lap.   
"Where have you been all day?" I asked.   
"Hiding out in the guest house," she answered. "I can't stop thinking about mom."   
"Join the club," I said. "What's that?"  
"Just a CD Chris brought me," Amy said. She tossed it to me. "I don't really want it."   
"Why?" I asked.   
Amy shrugged. "I don't know I just don't want it." She wheeled away from me.   
"Hey want to join us?" Brian asked.   
"No, thanks," Amy said. "I don't feel like acting out a walk to remember right now."   
I rolled my eyes. "We're not acting that out. You said you wanted to spend time with us."   
"No, I meant you," Amy said her voice shaking. "I don't want him here I want to spend time with just the family."  
"AMY!!" I snapped.   
"Look Ash maybe its better if I go," Brian said starting to stand.   
I pulled him back onto the couch. "No, stay. Can't you get along for once? On this day in particular?"   
Amy glared at Brian and then turned away from us.   
Then Syd came into the room. "Lunch is almost served. Come on Amy I'll help you into the kitchen."  
Amy didn't say anything, she was silent as Syd helped her into the kitchen. Brian and I followed. Soon we were sitting at the dinning room table, with everyone including Brian and his dad who had come just as we were about to sit down.   
"I'd like to propose a toast," I said standing up. "To everyone in this room who have helped me and my sister through some really difficult times..thanks guys we couldn't of done it without you."   
  
  
Amys POV  
  
Dinner sucked. I hated it, it sucked. Brian was there, BRAIN! He wasn't even family, why was he there? Why couldn't he and his Dad just LEAVE! I wanted them to disappear, I was tired of them around 24/7! I ate a piece of turkey, and left. I was angry. I wanted to walk away, I just wanted to walk. My legs were healed. I had to learn how to walk. I sat there in the living room, when I decided I was going to walk. I didn't care, if i was too weak. Being in a wheelchair sucked. I got on the edge of the wheelchair and stood up, my legs were shaking. And I started walking, I thought I'd need rehab, but I just started walking. My knees were wobbling, but it didn't matter. I was walking, I walked into the dining room, everyone stared at me.  
" What?" I snapped.  
" Amy, you shouldn't be walking." Syd said.   
" Listen Syd. They fixed my legs." I snapped. "Like two months ago. I'm not spending my life in a wheelchair. My face is the only thing left."  
" I think it's great, you have determination." Joanie said. Hannah smiled. I smiled back and left the room.  
  
Before I knew it, I was walking fine. No problems what so ever. I knew I didn't have to go to rehab, yet I also knew school was out of the question for the year, even without walking rehab. Which sucked, but i could manage. I'd still go to 11th grade and become a junior so it was cool. I went upstairs to my room and laid down on the bed, totally dazing off. Just remembering the old times, at home. I heard Brian coming up the stairs he came inside my room.  
" Hey Amy," He said, and smiled.  
" What?"  
" We have to get along." He said. "For your sister."  
" As far as I'm concerned. She can know i hate you."   
" Amy, how holiday like is that?"  
" Enough." I snapped. "Don't you ever go home?"   
" Whatever." He said and left. I sighed and put on my headphones.  
  
The next day, it was Black Friday. Joanie came running into my room, very excited.   
" GET UP!" She yelled, jumping up and down on my bed. She went far up in the air, and would come back down. I smiled and laughed. I sat up.   
" What?" I asked.  
" You two and i are going shopping. It's Black Friday. We're going out for pancakes and shopping!" she said. "Get dressed, I'm going to get changed." She said happily. I smiled and stood up. I walked over to the mirror (oh how great it felt to walk), I looked at myself. My face wasn't that bad, a few scars. If I put some make-up on, no one would notice. Which I was thankful for. I put on my "face", and went down the hallway.  
" Oh hey." Joanie said pulling up her jeans.  
" Sorry." I said and started to turn around.  
" it's okay, we're both girls." She said and laughed.  
" I need help deciding on what to wear. I mean kids from school might see me, and I look pretty bad already." I sighed and sat down on her bed.  
" Well, I guess you could wear long sleeves and jeans." Joanie said.   
" Yeah." i said and sighed. "I'll wear all black."  
" Okay, go ahead." She said and laughed.   
  
When we got to the mall, it was packed. Totally packed. It was fun though, yet so annoying. People kept stopping me to say hi, and what not. I felt like I was famous or something. We were shopping like crazy.  
" You know, Joanie. Christmas is around the corner. Think about all the bills." Ashley said.  
" Who cares?!" Joanie asked. "I own a business, and it's doing great!"  
" Cool!" I said. "Hey let's go to Pacific Sunwear." i said happily. I was so happy to be out with people again.  
" Sure!" Joanie said, we went to the store and was shopping around. I came across a hoodie I liked.  
" Hey Joanie check this out." I said, it was a Paul Frank hoodie.  
" Cool." She said. I was walking towards another one, when I ran into somebody... Matt's Mom.   
" Hi." I said quietly.  
" Hi Amy, its great to see you." She said equally as quiet. Joanie came up behind me, when she saw MAtts Mom, she shut up.   
" Hows everything?" I asked, my stomach twisting into a million knots.  
" Oh it's hard. With our first Thanksgiving without...Ma..." She started and started crying. She pulled me into her arms, and hugged me. We cried. "Oh you could have died too. Oh thank the Lord." She cried. I was crying too. I couldn't help it.   
" I'm so sorry." I said, we pulled away.  
" Thank you. Just remember come visit me." She said and gave a weak smile. She walked away, I felt tears roll down my face. I was crying really hard. Joanie hugged me.  
" I need to go. I have someone to see." I said.  
  
I walked up the stairs, to the house facing the water. I knocked on the door and she answered, Sharon's Mom. She saw me, and tears came to her eyes.  
" Amy." She cried. She hugged me.  
" I miss her." I cried, I was sobbing. I was letting all my emotions flow.   
" We do too Honey." She said. She hugged me tightly. "It wasn't your fault."  
" I don't know, it could have been." I cried.  
" No Honey." She said. She let me in and we talked for over a good hour. Just about everything. She told me to come back and see her, she needed a young girl around. She needed someone to be her "daughter", I agreed.   
  
As I walked down the road, I couldn't help but think of the song "In my Life", by Chantal Kreviatzuk. Mostly the first verse though-  
There are places I remember  
All my life  
Though some have changed  
Some forever   
Not for better  
Some have gone  
And some remain  
All these places have their moments  
With lovers and friends  
I still can recall  
Some are dead and some are living  
In my life  
I've loved them all  
  
I walked inside the house, sniffling. The cold air got to me. Ashley was sitting on the couch. She looked at me.  
" I miss them." I cried. "I can't do this. I just can't." I snapped. Ashley looked at me full of sorrow.  
" Did you hear?" She asked.  
" Hear what?" I asked.  
" Your friend Holly." Ashley said, she bit her lip and took a deep breath. "She was at a party, and died. She took some E, and collasped on the floor dead."   
I felt my heart beat getting harder, my breathes getting louder and deeper. I looked at the ceiling, my eyes filling up. Everything looked like I was underwater. Finally i screamed.  
" I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" I screamed at the ceiling, I ripped my necklace off. My expensive cross and went running upstairs. I quietly went up into the attic, I knew no one would bother me up there. I slumped in the corner and quietly sobbed.   
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
I followed Amy up to the attic and stood at the top of the stairs. I saw her in a corner crying. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how much my sister could take and I was afraid she was going to something drastic like try to kill herself again. Cold fear ran through me as I realized that possibility. I couldn't lose her, I wouldn't. I ran down the steps tears coming to my eyes. I went to my room and picked up the phone, I knew the person I needed to call, the one person who knew what it was like to lose everything, my father.   
"Hello?" someone said. It was Natlie.   
"Natlie this is Ashley is my father there?" I asked trying to choke back sobs.   
"Hi Ash and yes he is," Natlie said. "He just got home from a business trip."   
"Would it be Ok if I came over there?" I asked.   
"Here let me let him talk to you," Natlie said. I could tell she had put down the phone. I heard things like "its Ashley she sounds upset and she wants to see you..."   
"Hello," Dad said.   
"Dad," I said crying all over again.   
"Sweetie what's wrong?" Dad asked me.   
"I need to talk," I said quietly. "I don't know what to do anymore."   
  
Dad agreed to come and get me and take me out to a very early dinner. We went to O'Neils and found a table in the back. Robbie was there working and so was Tina. Dad and I sat down at a booth.   
"So are you?" dad asked me. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately."   
"You could of at least called," I said. "You're not keeping your promise."   
"I'm sorry honey," dad said. "But next week we can spend a lot of time together, its my week remember?"  
I nodded.   
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" dad asked. He looked at me.   
"I'm so messed up and confused and scared right now" I blurted out. I started crying again. "Amy's heading down a road I don't known where its leading. She just lost another friend and I'm afraid she won't be able to handle it. I'm so afraid she'll do something drastic like threaten to kill herself again. I can't lose her dad I can't imagine my life without her."   
Dad came over and put an arm around me. I cried into his shoulder.   
  
Dad and I talked and talked, about everything and anything. I told him about the accident, about Brian, about Amy and about me.   
"Honey I know you've had a rough year," he said. "I know I haven't been around but I promise I'll be there for you whenever you need me."   
"OK," I said.   
  
The next week at school everyone kept asking me how Amy was doing. Brian must of told his friends that she was home and they told everyone else.   
"God this is so hard," I moaned to myself. "God why do things have to be so complicated?" I was walking down the hall and for once people weren't coming up to me. It was the end of the day, five minutes before the bell and I'd asked to go to the bathroom, what I really wanted was to have some time to myself even if it was in a school hallway.   
"Talking to someone Ash?" a voice asked from behind me.   
I turned around to see Brian standing there a smile on his face.   
I dropped my books I'd been holding (they made a loud thud on the floor) and threw my arms around him. I looked into his eyes. "Please get me out of here," I begged. "I can't take anymore questions about my sister."  
Brian picked up my books and we headed out of the building. I didn't care who saw us and I didn't care if I got n trouble, I needed some peace, I needed to be away form all the rumors and questions.   
"Bad day?" Brian asked me.   
"No, just all the questions," I said. I turned to him. "Brian why did you have to tell your friends Amy was home?"   
Brian shrugged. "I didn't know it would cause such a problem besides if they wanted to know how she was doing they can always come by and see her."  
"You know you do have a point," I said. We walked arm and arm toward the clinic. On the way I told him about my father.   
"He's really going to not break his promise?" Brian asked.   
"Yeah," I said. "I just hope he can do it, keep the promises I mean." I silently prayed to God that that would come true, I really needed him in my life.   
  
  
Amy's POV  
  
Once again, I was getting ready for a friends funeral. ONCE AGAIN, I was sobbing, ONCE AGAIN I WAS WORTHLESS. I knew who I needed, and that wasn't my sister nor Dad, nor Joanie or Syd. I needed my Mom, my Mom. But she wasn't around, so there was NO use crying over it. Yet, I couldn't help it. I slide on my black skirt, and black peasant top. I know hardly anyone wore black to funerals anymore, but for this case it was appropiate. The worst part was, I knew I had taken E so many times before. And never died, that was probably Holly's first time, and she was a goner. Depressing stuff. I put on my shoes, and walked downstairs. I looked at Syd.  
" I'm not going back to the hospital, I am going back to school. Whether you like it or not. All they need to do is fix my left eye, and my ear. I'm going back to school."  
" Okay Amy. I'll take you to the funeral." Syd said, she grabbed her keys. The song "In my Life", kept running through my head. The only difference was, most were dead, FEW were living. I sighed, Syd kept looked at me. We got to the funeral home, there was a 9:00am viewing and then a 10:00am funeral service.   
"Will you need a ride to the church?" She asked.  
" No, I'll get a ride with Chris." I said quietly. I got out and closed the door, the cold November air whipped through my hair. I walked up to the door, watching Syd drive away. I felt like i was five, getting dropped off for Brownies or something. I wished I was going there, I opened the door, and tons of people were inside. I spotted Chris in the line and went over to him.  
" I'm taking it this is the final goodbye line." I sighed.  
" Your walking?" He asked shocked. "I mean, yeah it is."  
" Yeah, I decided I wanted to walk." I said with a smile. We got up to the front, I looked at Holly. She looked so, dead. Her face wasn't the same, she was different. I knelt down, made the symbol of the cross and walked over to her parents.   
" I'm sorry." I said, watching tears fall down their face.  
" She was never like that. She was a good girl, I good girl." Her mother cried, she hugged me and then went back into her husbands arms.  
" Thank you for coming, it means everything." Her Dad said. As I went through the line, her little brothers and sisters were there, and her older sister. I wanted to honestly throw up, I was getting sick. What if I made Holly go to drugs? I didn't know what to think...all I knew was I was saying bye to another loved one...  
  
Chris dorve me home after the funeral. We were silent the whole way home, I didn't know what to say. He parked in the driveway and we were slient for a few minutes.  
" I'm sorry." I cried.   
" For what?" He asked.  
" For blaming you, it was an accident. And I've been avoiding you like the plague." I said and sniffed.  
" Amy, it's okay..." He said.  
" No it's not. No!" I said and hit my fist on the dashboard. "Chris, I couldn't stand to loose you. I can't loose you either." I cried, I was sobbing.   
" Amy, your not loosing me." He said. He hugged me.  
" You never knew. I didn't think I'd loose Mom, or Sharon, or Matt, and God never Holly." I said. "I almost lost my sister."   
" But you didn't loose her, remember that." He said he looked into my eyes.  
" But I almost did." I cried.   
" Amy, I love you. You are my best friend in the whole world. And you better not do anything dumb, because I'm not going to loose you." He snapped.   
" I won't." I said. We hugged and I got out. I gave him the I love you sign and went inside. I was still crying.   
I walked inside, Joanie looked at me. I just shook my head, and broke down even harder.  
" Syd, she looked so dead." I cried, I slumped in a chair. "This is too hard. Who's next?"  
" Aw Honey." She said.   
" I should just have a neon sign over my head saying 'Don't get close to her, she'll kill you'. GOD!" I cried. Ashley came walking into the room, she looked at her and turned around went right into the living room.   
" Amy, your not killing them." Joanie said.   
" I need some time to think. I'm going up to the attic. I need time alone." I said, I grabbed my purse and went running past Ashley and I guess Dad in the living room up to the attic. I went into my corner, and just wondered why we were here, and other life questions...life right now and I know Ashley did too.   
  
Ashley's POV:   
  
I was sitting at the kitchen table just staring. It had started to snow and normally I would have been jumping for joy but not this year, I was to depressed. Life had taken a drastic change over the past year, with mom dying, me almost dying, the accident and now Amy's friends. I couldn't take it anymore. I looked down at my Chemistry homework and sighed, I was normally a good student but lately I'd been slipping on my homework and I knew I was going to be in deep trouble if I didn't get my act together by finals time.   
"How's it going kiddo?" Syd asked coming into the room. She sat down beside me. "What are you working on?"   
"Chemistry," I answered.   
"Ah," Syd said.   
"Hey you can help me you're a doctor," I said. I put down my pen. "Syd I can't do this, I can't do this anymore."   
"Sure you can I'll..." Syd began I cut her off.   
I stood up "No I can't do ANY of THIS anymore, this watching people die this seeing my sister so upset she barely talks."   
Syd hugged me. "I know sweet girl things are going to be hard for a while."   
"Syd I love living with you and everything but why can't things go back to like they used to be?" I asked. "I miss my mom."   
"I know," Syd said. "I miss my mom too and you know what?"   
"What?" I asked.   
"She died a stranger to me," Syd said. "You're really lucky you were close to your mom like you were."   
"Yeah," I said.   
"You know what we need," she said.   
"What/" I asked curious at what she was getting at.   
"A Christmas vacation." 


End file.
